Oh, now I understand...

  • May. 25th, 2009 at 7:35 PM
aissi: (House - 8 year old)
Quote from my 11 year old cousin today:
Her: "Seatbelts completely defeat the purpose of buses!"
Me: "Oh? And what, exactly, is the purpose of buses?"
Her: "To kill children en masse!"


You may have a point...

  • May. 23rd, 2009 at 1:54 AM
aissi: (Thirteen - Fuck Yeah)
Quote from my 7 year old cousin today:
"I don't understand this shit; it's neither tooty, nor fruity!"


ummm... Sparklpyres at 30 paces...?

  • May. 19th, 2009 at 4:47 PM
aissi: (Buffy beats Twatlight)
Today I had to go to 'the big city' with my dad to sort out some stuff with my driver's licence.
While we were there, we went shopping.

In the shopping centre (mall, for you Americans) we were walking past this girl (I think she was about 12), who was wearing an 'I Love Edward' shirt. I decided that this was the perfect moment to inform my dad of just how terrible Twatlight is. The girl obviously heard me (as I had intended) and, as we passed, she turned around in order to continue to glare at us. As she did so, she noticed that standing about 30 feet away was a girl of around the same age wearing exactly the same shirt, only hers said 'I love Jacob'. Both girls stopped dead in their tracks and stood there glaring at one another. They were still staring daggers when we turned the corner 2 minutes later.
Has anybody ever stood between crowds of Chelsea and Manchester fans after a final? It was like that, only with training bras and less testosterone.

Also, on the way home (I was driving) it started to rain so hard that I honestly couldn't see anything. It was absolutely terrifying. Anybody who has tried navigating a highway off-ramp and a series of roundabouts blindfolded will know what I"m talking about

Funny emails

  • Mar. 27th, 2009 at 12:20 AM
aissi: (Default)
I just finished my Biology assignment and don't feel inclined to sleep, so I thought I'd post some funny email conversations I've had with my friend [livejournal.com profile] shenniefish 

[livejournal.com profile] shenniefish :
This is getting weird. [name omitted] and I were talking about how Gmail needed a webcam chat, and then BAM, there it was. You say that Google Reader needs a reply to shared, and BAM, there it is.


shhh. don't say anything incriminating. these conversations are being monitored, so it is of the utmost importance that you do not mentioned the meth lab in the basement in which we are cooking and selling drugs in order to make money to invest in the illegal arms trade so that we can procure WMDs which we plan to use to assassinate the entire US senate which is the last step in our plan to take over the world which began with us causing the stock market crash!

It honestly took me 5 minutes to come up with all of that, but it was so worth it.
I wish I could tell you that we reserved this level of senseless stupidity for the internet, but I can't. Most of our conversations are like this.

The other day we had a delightful conversation about porno titles. The title 'Her Majesty's Secret Cervix' came up. I, naturally, asked [livejournal.com profile] shenniefish where her majesty keeps her secret cervix. After she informed me that she didn't know, we parted ways. Later that evening this email conversation took place:

I asked my dad where her majesty keeps her secret cervix and he said "in her secret knickers."

[livejournal.com profile] shenniefish :
Haha, win.

Does that mean she wears two pairs of knickers -- one secret, and one not-secret?

Is this treason?

Well, we don't know if she's wearing her secret knickers. She may be keeping them in a vault with the family jewels (see what I did there?). And we have no way of know if she wears non-secret knickers or not; she may be going commando

Anyway... I just realised that I probably should have asked [livejournal.com profile] shenniefish 's permission before I posted these.
On that note, this is a post-dated message for 19:25 on 25/3/2009:
[livejournal.com profile] shenniefish , I have the intention of posting some of our personal email conversations on my LJ. If this is not okay, please let me know before 12:20am on 27/3/2009.

More funny cousinisms

  • Mar. 24th, 2009 at 7:09 PM
aissi: (Default)
My seven year old cousin, Miglé, just learned that 'beeping' is used to cover up swear words on television.
Now she's yelling at her microwave because she thinks it's swearing at her.


Slugs and bananas... Banana slugs?

  • Mar. 20th, 2009 at 6:44 PM
aissi: (Default)
This is the conversation I had with my friends in class today.

E: My house is so boring It's in the middle of nowhere. There isn't even anywhere you can go get something to eat.
T: Where can you go to eat at my house? Unless you want to catch yabbies... or eat slugs.
Me: T, you live on a banana farm and you're gonna eat slugs.
T: Oh, yeah. Shit!
Much laughter ensued. E hadn't followed the conversation and was very confused, which made it even funnier.

Guess you had to be there, but it was one of the funniest conversations I've had in quite a while.
It was just as funny as when I accidentally told[livejournal.com profile] shenniefish to milk me, instead of pour me some milk. My ribs hurt so much after that laughing fit.


Excuse me...

  • Mar. 9th, 2009 at 9:50 PM
aissi: (Default)
Gabe is one of the smartest people I have ever met. He's a paranoid conspiracy theorist, but brilliant nonetheless.
Yet this is the conversation currently taking place in my house:

Gabe: How is it? The word tomato has Tom in it.
Tom: And Mato.
Gabe: Yeah, let's got ToMato's house.
Gabe: Asparagus has Gus in it.
Tom: Leek has Lee in it.
Gabe: Broadbean has b-ROARRRR-dbean
Tom: Artichoke has Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrr-tichoke.
Gabe: It's Aaaarrr, to choke.


aissi: (Default)
[personal profile] aissi

Latest Month

August 2009


RSS Atom
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios
Designed by [personal profile] chasethestars